A flop–like a shark out of water

By Connor Etchell

sharknado-posterThere are some movies that change how we look at movies in the disaster genre and really define the category with superior special effects and believable scenarios. “Sharknado” did none of this. It even wrecked the genre. A lot. Sharknado is just one of those rare movies that when the credits roll you find yourself asking, “Why did I just watch that? Why was it so entertainingly awful?! Why do I want to watch it again with my friends?!” It quickly becomes a movie you talk about and sticks with you. Maybe it sticks with you for the wrong reasons, but all the same, it sticks like glue.

We join our dashing hero Fin Shepherd (Ian Ziering), a surfer and bar owner who has a slightly paranoid aura about him. Which is well placed because an approaching hurricane has managed to suck up over 20,000 sharks from the Pacific Ocean and spread their teethy evil across Los Angeles. Our underpaid hero, along with his best friend and employee Baz (Jaason Simmons), and Nova (Cassie Scerbo), instantly spring into action bashing sharks as they zip past their heads and kill random civilians in single gulps. We see the trio meet with a gauntlet of tasks in order to get to Fin’s ex- wife April (Tara Reid) and daughter Deanna (Somiko Braun) and rescue L.A. from becoming one big shark-infested chum ball.

Ridiculous story and acting beside, the special effects are still awful. Each shark is almost animated so poorly it’s nearly comedic. The movie occasionally shows off actual shark footage that was taken but it’s so horribly spliced in that it’s completely unbelievable. At least make the scenes that are supposed to be realistic actually look like they belong! As the movie progresses, we see many examples of the wonderful make up crew’s talents as it shows half-eaten limbs and giant, fake-looking gashes on the bodies of the sharknado victims. The best part of this film is just imagining what was going through the actors’ heads as they were filming! I am really curious to know if at one point someone stood up and screamed “What are we doing with our lives?!?” as they tore off the fake blood-stained clothes and took off the gash make up that had been poorly pasted on them.

When it comes to directing, Anthony C. Ferrante missed the point a little too much. As the director you are usually supposed to DIRECT. But we continually get incredibly spastic and almost random camera changes between characters talking and the same random stock footage of a shark swimming towards the camera. He really does use the same B-Roll footage over and over again as if we didn’t see it the first time. Oh trust me, we saw. Our eyes were glued to the screen like we were watching the last episode of “Breaking Bad,” but not because we were excited to see what happened, but because we were interested in seeing what mistake Anthony had made next. You probably think I hate “Sharknado.” And trust me, I do. But I love so incredibly much to hate it and for that reason I love it. It’s a movie you need to see at least once and maybe twice if you are with friends just to really appreciate the sheer disaster it is. It really makes you respect other movies because you officially have a benchmark for terrible movies, and it can’t get much worse than that. Can it?